A letter to myself..

To Dear Nicole:

Never give up…
M said that: confident wasn’t bringing from others, is build by your own.
That’s right…
Be responsibility with your life...
You just need some time to manage your emotion.
1 minutes…
After 1 minutes, you will be fine...
You need to help yourself,
Positive thinking was crucial in needed for manage your feeling
Your happiness world will come over to you soon…

Regards,
Nicole

无奈

我好无奈~
明明看见了，却必须当作看不见~
明明很害怕，却要假装不太在意~
为什么还要来这里？ 她都已经赢了~
为什么还要挖我的回忆，让我又一次的想起我痛苦的回忆?
她~某人的老婆
我已经尽力的避免自己去一些会被遇见的地方，
我已经放弃了，离开了，放手了~
永远不可能会对她造成任何的威胁~
为什么还是要来我的星巴克？
看见我哭会比较开心吗？
看到我尴尬不自然的表情会比较开心吗？
是的~ 我承认我是脆弱的~
是的~ 我承认我是哭了~
是因为放不下我的自尊心~
但是我不想逃避~ 我应该面对~
只是,
失败的我~ 真的连抬起头的勇气都没有了~
我好无奈~

我的小小愿望~

我的大日子~毕业典礼
我希望我想见的人会忽然间的出现，给我一个意外惊喜~
通常，毕业典礼总是少不了花啦，bear bear 啦。。。
平凡的我，也蛮期待收到美美的花啦~
原因是：本小姐从来没有收过一束束的花啦~ （失败~）
希望他会记得我的毕业典礼~
就算不来，一封短短的信息祝福我，我也会很开心的~

但是，我的小小愿望~ 他会知道吗？
他不会知道~ 永远不会知道~
所以。。。

我的毕业典礼，
他不会给我惊喜~
他不会过来找我~
他不会送花给我~
他不会写信息来~
他不会给祝福我~

结论，
你与我~ 从来没变成我们
就像电脑Keyboard里的 N 与 M ~
看似好亲密~ 一个在左，一个在右~
可是，清醒点吧~
它们从来没有交集点~
是不同的个体，从来没有任何关系~

Wishing...

July 15, 2009

Posting a display about "wishing" at facebook..

Frens was keep on asking me what about the "wishing"...

Not really wish to be chat about it openly, coz that will influence my emotion.

Not really hope to express it oso, jz let it settleable in my heart..

however, i needed to clear up my mind and select what actually i needs and wants...

but, currently.. my status only can be describe as this:

这个世界就这么不完美。

你想得到些什么就不得不失去些什么。

但是，我比较特别~ 想得到什么就失去些什么。

可悲咯~

This was my current thought..

Dunno when it started,

Dunno where be recover,

Dunno what is the main problems,

Dunno which channel to change it,

Dunno why this always happened,

Dunno how to manage it..

~迷惑~

what am i doing now??
keep on ran away for the reality..

Plz....
Nicole Tan

Plz....
Come back plz....

You will be getting fine soon,
dun keep on hide urself..

You need to work hard with it,
dun always felt nervous..

is it my life just around Genting??
y i must keep myself at Genting??

y.. y.. y..

May be i still hv a lot of sweet memories over here..
May be i'm addicted myself with Genting aldy..

i dun hv any power to cure myself...
i not dare to face the reality...

that day, Juan said:
"impossible that i will stay at Genting for the rest of my life"
Suddenly, i was woke up myself..

Everytime, i will said "I need time to solve my problems... "
but, i jz wasting my time in hocus myself...
i jz elude myself in facing my failure...

After my interview..

My inteview on 7 July 2009..
I'm the 1st person reach the Maxims Boardroom..
There are 5 candidates short-listed for the media relations post..
But, they will only select one of us..

STRESS.....

I had try my best to translated the press release from english to chinese.
I had been studied about 3 years with using english as my main language,
NOW.. suddenly ask me write chinese words without computer...
That's quite a huge challenge for me la...

By the way, i had tried my best in translated it with my skill...
haha, sound weird for me...
If they ask me translate chinese to english, may be i still can do better...

Anyway, Mr. H always visit me when i was wrote my blog at starbucks woh...
Haha, so happy...

Ok la... just end my blog here la...

~Interview~

Tomorrow I will going to inteview for the post named as Media Relations Executive. When i was received a call from Genting, I was very happy and appreciate it. Here, i would like to indicate my greatest appreciate to my friend - cassie, because she was the one who helps me sending my resume to the department. Finally, i get a chance to interview executive under Genting.

As my friends, you always knowing that my best wishes would be working at Genting. NOT because of others reason la, just because that the environment, weather and friends at Genting....

~Media Relations~
My weakest subject during my Uni life...
However, I need to work with it?? sound so weird...
BUT... i will try my best to handle it...
Just trust me... Just trust myself..
My dreams... i will always chasing it...

Hope that god will blessing me as well... Hence, I put a lot stress on myself to gain this apportunity and I really hope that I can perform great during the Interview and successfully work under Genting.

By the way, I really appreciate that a cute cute guy was always willing to gave me a hand, pulling me from the darkest situation and refresh my mind, so that I can handle my problems positively.

Thanks a lot, Mr. H~
Har Har, don't try to titter ya...
I'm SURE that you will...

p/s: When i wrote this, a cute cute guy was sitting in front of me.. haha...
Thanks for surprise me at Genting ya..

再见~ 我的一百个开心的理由~

一百个开心的理由

1. 第一次在AOS被你搂着时，心跳加速~~
2. 第一次你给我的2008年的握手与拥抱~~
3. 第一次你打电话给我时，你只叫我老婆~~
4. 第一次与你在GISR上网，感觉很棒喔~~
5. 第一次你看我都是傻傻的呆呆的笨笨的~~
6. 第一次send代表我们的lover mug 给你~~
7. 第一次在我哭过的地方，给我爱的宣言~~
8. 第一次录起你对我爱的宣言，十分满足~~
9. 第一次你唱了一首歌给我，爱的就是你~~
10. 第一次我们在第一广场录影，甜甜蜜蜜~~
11. 第一次去了1517，那里有你的点点滴滴~~
12. 第一次你洗我衣服却破了，结果帮我缝~~
13. 第一次你给我承诺，时间可以证明一切~~
14. 第一次我们在云顶的雪之世界门前自拍~~
15. 第一次拥有相同的手机吊饰-smile pasta~~
16. 第一次收到你给我的Lovely Lace的熊~~
17. 第一次与你的甜蜜Awana之旅，真舒服~~
18. 第一次与你一起吃杯面瓜子，喝茶聊天~~
19. 第一次我真正的感觉到爱情的甜酸苦辣~~
20. 第一次我们在PJ的电影，老师嫁老大~~
21. 第一次我们在Sungei Wang的甜蜜大头贴~~
22. 第一次的互相染发，你帮我染;我帮染你~~
23. 第一次你收到惊喜礼物时，样子好可爱~~
24. 第一次听你叫我傻瓜，我是你的小傻瓜~~
25. 第一次你买一种Bra的东东给我，炸到~~
26. 与站在我身后的你，仰望着天空的烟火~~
27. 与你每天斗斗嘴吵吵闹闹的，感觉暧昧~~
28. 与你一起拥有相同的嗜好~收集50sen~~
29. 与你不约而同的喜欢的老歌-花言巧语~~
30. 与你一辈子约定的秘密手语~给我手手~~
31. 与你约定的，说再见的手语~像鸭子的~~
32. 与你每天在互传信息的感觉，好甜蜜~~
33. 与你一同逛街时买了我爱心手机K810~~
34. 与你约定了，下一个行程将会是岛之旅~~
35. 与你戏剧化的爱情，开始后就永无止境~
36. 与你敞开心怀谈谈之间的问题互相了解~~
37. 只喜欢被你轻轻的捏我的脸蛋，呵护我~~
38. 只喜欢你温柔摸我头叫我好好照顾自己~~
39. 只喜欢有你紧紧地拥抱着我叫我不要哭~~
40. 只喜欢每天看见你阳光笑容，我就会笑~~
41. 只喜欢每天可以与你哼我们喜欢的歌曲~~
42. 只喜欢你一声声的叫我BB，我叫你DD~~
43. 只喜欢一次一次的叫你猫猫，你是我的~~
44. 只喜欢你叫我猪宝贝，因为我是你的猪~~
45. 只喜欢为了我唯一爱的你而化妆戴耳环~~
46. 只喜欢拥有你，好让我的日记增添色彩~~
47. 只喜欢给你背着我在夜深无人的娱乐场~~
48. 只喜欢与你在无人的娱乐场，雨中狂奔~~
49. 只喜欢与你在第一酒店的花园吹吹冷风~~
50. 只喜欢我与你看每一场电影spiderwick~~
51. 只喜欢给你抱着在McD谈谈心唱唱歌~~
52. 只喜欢有你叫我傻瓜，懒惰猪，cookies~~
53. 只喜欢你专门买给我的Panadol，清热水~~
54. 只喜欢有你愿意帮我吃完我不爱的青葱~~
55. 只喜欢有你打电话叫我醒还叫我做懒猪~~
56. 只喜欢有你等我放工陪我吃接送我回房~~
57. 好开心可以有机会在你生病时，照顾你~~
58. 好开心在我病倒的时候，有你细心照顾~~
59. 好开心可以在你面前耍耍我的小姐脾气~~
60. 好开心可以为你的事业而精心设计Logo~~
61. 好开心可以与你互相交换我们的锁匙圈~~
62. 好开心介绍你去我喜欢的餐馆，龙师傅~~
63. 好开心你了解我，为我买柠檬Impact糖~~
64. 好开心可以为你写下一百个开心的理由~~
65. 好开心可以庆祝我们俩的爱情日-13号~~
66. 好开心可以一起吃我们最爱BBQ Plaza~~
67. 好开心可以一起嘴对嘴吃巧克力Porky~~
68. 好开心可以每次Ngau Ngau你撒撒娇嘛~~
69. 好开心可以汪汪汪你，逗逗我的你开心~~
70. 好开心可以让我们的毛毛撒撒娇喵喵你~~
71. 好开心叫你一声豪少爷，因你是我唯一~~
72. 好开心有机会讨好你，而创造了cookies~~
73. 好开心你特地来槟城，帮我驾车上回PJ~~
74. 好开心每一晚都可以与我的DD聊聊天~~
75. 好开心你愿意为我尝尝你不爱的加哩面~~
76. 好开心可以与你吃吃我的新爱，小蛋糕~~
77. 谢谢你曾经挽留我，让我靠在你的身边~~
78. 谢谢你在我痛哭绝望的时候，接我回去~~
79. 谢谢你在我不经意的时候送我爱心水瓶~~
80. 谢谢你照顾我担心我，为我买爱心胃药~~
81. 谢谢你在我生病的时候，叫了人来看我~~
82. 谢谢你担心我，陪我下RIA拿房门锁匙~~
83. 谢谢你愿意supplement你的电话线给我~~
84. 谢谢你贴心的将我的鞋子洗得一干二净~~
85. 谢谢你配合我看我的最爱Indiana Jones~~
86. 谢谢你为了我赶着时间的回来云顶陪我~~
87. 谢谢你偷了我的心，并且好好的疼惜着它~~
88. 谢谢你总是不计较的给我你所有的55555~~
89. 谢谢你总是给我一辈子也无法忘掉的体验~~
90. 谢谢你给我一切我从来最向往的甜蜜爱情~~
91. 谢谢你给最具动力最甜蜜的frendster留言~~
92. 谢谢你为我不管多累都特地陪我回PJ的家~~
93. 谢谢你教会我不应该以消极的想法来生活~~
94. 谢谢你支持我，让我勇敢面对我们的未来~~
95. 谢谢你愿意为了我改改你的小小坏习惯哦~~
96. 谢谢你主动地接近我，好让我勇敢爱上你~~
97. 谢谢你愿意一直听我诉苦，说说悲观的话~~
98. 谢谢你如此了解我让我爱吃什么就吃什么~~
99. 谢谢你让普通朋友变质超出友谊变成恋人~~
100. 谢谢你疼爱我宠爱我保护我迁就我体谅我~~

My first time wrote the ~hundred happiness~ with him..
Until now only I willing to post it to my 心情收集..
This is because I realize that sometime, somethings needed to let it be...
Hence, I set myself free...
As my theory, post the feeling also meant for me to let it go...
It is meant to only remind it in my deepest memories...
It won't be affect me anymore..
I will try my best to be alert myself....

p/s:
DD, goodbye forever~~
You will be my memories, no more reality...
Best wishes for your future...
Fight to the best...
~Bye~