~xiao~

My dear love.. Frens~ Xiao Xiao~

MISS YOU~

Miss our moment that we spended together~
Where are you now?? Which part of New Zealand??
When will you back back to us??
When only we can meet with each others??

Haiz..
Miss uni life... no stress..

my ~25~

三十一号早上 不开心~
临时决定 SMS 给维杰, 跟他下 PJ ~
我不想留在这里了~

安慰的是~ 朋友们提早给了我一个难忘温馨的二十五岁生日~
还以为这次下山是为了买热水器与染染头发的~

结果~
维杰在我不知情的情况下，联络了小忆做为神秘嘉宾~
我们~ 158 的室友Lawrence, 维杰，小忆 ~
重聚在我们的最爱BB Q Plaza~
还在那里庆祝我的生日~
他们送上了生日蛋糕, 为我唱生日歌~
顿时，好感动~ 我从没想过他们会为我庆祝~
Lawrence 忽然间成为看相佬~ 骗我的手伸出来~
帮我戴上我的礼物~ 黑色水晶链~ Surprise~
谢谢你们的礼物~ 维杰，小忆，Lawrence, Kian Pien, Ah Kok~

之后~ 当然是去我们常常去的地方~ Games 场啦~
打鼓，赛车，枪击，跳舞~
大家玩得好开心哦~ 忆起从前的开心回忆~
我们，拍了好多好多照片和影片~
好开心~

宵夜时间到~ 我们还是去了“明天”
薄饼，麻辣香肠，鱼翅面，咖哩鱼头~
哇~ 想念的味道~

凌晨三点~ 才回到我们的家~ 158~
七点多~ 我与维杰走去sentosa 为了一包豆浆~
哈哈~ 无聊~
慢慢走走~ 走到我的最爱~ 好义记~
我的麻辣米粉~ 干捞板面~
哇~ 真开心~

回想在158 的日子~ 开开心心~ 无忧无虑~
希望我们还会重聚一起~

My Prayer by Devotion

Who willing to sing this song to me??
Who is the person who love me forever??
I love this song~ The meaning so sweet and warm~


Devotion - My Prayer Lyrics

“Dear god:
I know that she’s out there...
the one I’m suppose to share my whole life with.
And in time...you’ll show her to me.
Will you take care of her,
comfort her,
and protect her...
until that day we Meet.
And let her know...
my heart...is beating with hers

In a dream I hold you close
Embracing you with my hands
You gazed at me with eyes full of love
And made me understand
That I was meant to share it with you，My heart my mind my soul
Then I open my eyes
And all I see reality shows I’m alone
But I know someday that you’ll be by my side
Cause I know god’s just waiting till the time is right

God will you keep her safe from the thunderstorm
When the day’s cold will you keep her warm
When the darkness falls will you please shine her the way
God will you let her know that I love her so
When theres no one there that she’s not alone
Just close her eyes and let her know
My heart is beating with hers
So I prayed until that day
When our hearts will beat as one
I will wait so patiently
For that day to come

I know someday that you’ll be by my side
Cause I know god’s just waiting till the time is right

God will you keep her safe from the thunderstorm
When the day’s cold will you keep her warm
when the darkness falls will you please shine her the way
(shine he the way)
God will you let her know that I love her so
When theres no one there that she’s’ not alone
Just close her eyes and let her know
My heart is beating with hers

Is beating with hers
My heart is beating with hers
It’s beating with hers

家~

回家的感覺 ~
真好 ~

沒有 壓力 ~
沒有你的存在 ~

我什么都没有~

刚刚看了小小的部落格~ 写着

"男人心，天上星"
~閃爍不定，難以捉摸~

忽然感到搞笑~
因为我也是这么的认为~

他~

就是这么的一个人，让我感到閃爍不定，難以捉摸~
我~
还是这么的无助一个人面对着事实，心伤彻底~

不明白我的心为何会如此的痛
明明只是短短的时光~
却又那么的刻骨铭心~

好想好想知道一些答案~
又有好多的疑问~
到底你爱过我吗？？
在你心里，我是什么喔？
为什么是我，却又不再是我？

好羡慕~
青梅竹马的~
互相了解的~
彼此信任的~
珍惜对方的~

我呢？？ 我呢？？
我什么都没有~

无言

好久好久~ 没有时间写写我的心情了~
也许是太忙了吧~

我~
已剪短我的发，剪短了长发~

是时候放开双手了吧~
是时候看开这一切吧~

短短头发的我，从新开始~ 从心出发~

圆圆的我
没有不开心~
也没有伤心~

~因为我早已习惯了一个人伤悲~

office >.<

Saturday, working half day~
I still stay at office, plan to finish approve some PR, but system down agains~
I cant do anythings with it, so online and wrote somethings over here la.

I miss my 158 frens~
I miss my family~
I miss my happiness~
I miss my Toyota~
I miss my smile~
I miss somebody~

Can someone tell me what happen to me??
Can someone build me up??

2nd day with my "hand"

22 sept 2009 ~
2.50 am..
at 1st world cc..

alone~
gastric~
headache~

jz passed by here to write something.gambeteh,
Miss Nicole Tan~

sometime, somethings~
wont changed.. f
ace the truth~

~My Genting Life Began~

18 August 2009~
My 1st day attached myself with Genting Malaysia Berhad.
This is my 1st job after my graduation.
When i was finished my studies, I kept on searching job.
I tried a lot of company~
But, one of my best fren~ xiao, told me that i'm not really looking for others job~
Yaya, she was rite~Becoz i kept on waiting response from Genting only~
May be i was addicted with Genting~
May be i gonna remind myself that dun be a fool~

However, when i was received a call from HR~
wonderful~
Finally~ I 'm back to Genting~

Currently, i was still learned about the purchasing system~
Not yet felt the stress~jz a lot of blur~
But, i hope that i can handle and manage it well~
Beside that, i would like to indicate greatest thanks to all my Genting frens~
MY orientation frens~ Peik Mun, Kok Wah, Annie, Mei Yee and Li yi~
We ate breakfast and dinner together,
We sang k together,
We yam cha together,
We went medical checking together,
We went shopping together~

Hence~ my Genting life became full of happy memories agains~
hoping that this frenship will never end~
Once agains~ Thanks , my frens~

p/s:Mr. M, i will be fine without u~
recovering myself~
~bye~ u wont be in my life anymore

~SAD~

SAD~

My department working hours was follow the normal office hours~
Sat half day
Sun off day

How can it be?? Mean that i cant even back my home for this half year~
Quite dissappointed with it~

Previously, i tot the leave will base on once a month ~ 4 days leave together~
So that easily for me to travel back to my hometown~

BUT~

now, i really dunno what to do on it~

GOD~
y always chanlleges me like that??
when everythings is fine n wonderful, suddenly drop me this problem to me~
what am i going to do?

Here~ My love^^

Since 1st Aug 2005 until 2day~ 4 years 16 days

2day i was submit my resignation letter to Starbucks Genting 1~

Here was a place that saving my happiness along my journey~

Here~ my best memories with all starbucks partners~
Here~ i met my greatest manager~ Yen~
Here~ i made my decision of Uni course~ Public Relations~

Here~ i learned my coffee knowledge~

Here~ i develop myself to co-opereate with others~

Here~ i had been awarded as the Store Coffee Master~

Here~ i had joined the activities that organized by all of us~

Here~ my happiest job that i worked athough it was tiring~

Here~ my 1st date with my MOD~ Man Of Dream~

Here~ my met love with zi le~ my sweet sweet valentine bears~

Here~ i saw my ex bf~ Danny and shocked with broke up the mug~

Here~ i had faint because of my sickness gastirc~

Here~ i get myself better from my greatest lovelorn~

Here~ i had cried due to the reason that i received i sms from xx~

Here~ i recover myself and live with my single life~

Here~ i get lost with my career and future devolopment~

Here~ My starbucks~

I will miss the moment that we created~

I will always come back to visit u all~

I will~

I will~

浅浅的微笑

忽然间~ 想起这首歌

我真的懂 你不是喜新厌旧
是我没有 陪在你身边
当你寂寞时侯 别再看着我
说你爱我 别太伤痛
我不难过
这不算什麽只是为什麽眼泪为流
我也不懂 不要再说
也许这是最好的结果
现在分手 总好过你不爱我一拖再拖
松开你的手 离开你左右
我向前走 这会是我 真正的解脱

忽然间~ 也想起这首歌

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起做梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动
我怀念的是无言感动
我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅抱得我都痛
我记得你在背后我记得
我颤抖着记得感觉汹涌

听完了歌 轻轻的哼了哼这两首歌
回忆,过去永远都是很完美的
它完完整整的留在心湖
每当回忆起 浅浅的微笑
谢谢 让我拥有这唯一的记忆

Reflection~

Look at the mirror~
reflecting myself~

My eyes shown about my sadness and happiness memories~
25 years had been stay in the earth~
What actually i has done?

Getting degree? Is that enough for me?
Getting lover? Is that anyone could be suit for me?
Getting employment? Is that my favorite job?
Getting friendship? Is that someone could accompany along your life?
What am i expected?

My reflection shown me that I'm weak in handling my EQ~
My reflection shown me that I'm nervous in uncertain environment~

HOW to cure the problem?
Time passed by every moment~
I couldn't let myself stoped in develop my inner personality~

NICOLE TAN~
Wake up! Cheer up!
My life was control by myself~
You think you can, YOU CAN~
Fight for my future~

~confusing~

2day~ 11 Aug, 2009
I had received a call from Genting HR department~
Confirming my qualification of the post~ Purchasing Executive
Finally, i get what i want to be~
Although this post was just a temporary job for half year,
but at least i can stay at Genting~

I wonder why i always searching job under Genting~
Is that i still had some hope over there?
Or, i still can't get back myself from the reality?
I really confusing now~

M n N

After that incident on 27 Jun,2008~
I found that i was the loser in this world~
Just now updated myself via facebook,
checked ur profile, found that i'm a fool~
Kept on missing a person who won't really look at myself~
Just can be the 2nd place in his heart~
~STUPID~
wake up pls~
dun be fool anymore~
~M n N~ wasn't meant anythings for u n me~

A letter to myself..

To Dear Nicole:

Never give up…
M said that: confident wasn’t bringing from others, is build by your own.
That’s right…
Be responsibility with your life...
You just need some time to manage your emotion.
1 minutes…
After 1 minutes, you will be fine...
You need to help yourself,
Positive thinking was crucial in needed for manage your feeling
Your happiness world will come over to you soon…

Regards,
Nicole

无奈

我好无奈~
明明看见了，却必须当作看不见~
明明很害怕，却要假装不太在意~
为什么还要来这里？ 她都已经赢了~
为什么还要挖我的回忆，让我又一次的想起我痛苦的回忆?
她~某人的老婆
我已经尽力的避免自己去一些会被遇见的地方，
我已经放弃了，离开了，放手了~
永远不可能会对她造成任何的威胁~
为什么还是要来我的星巴克？
看见我哭会比较开心吗？
看到我尴尬不自然的表情会比较开心吗？
是的~ 我承认我是脆弱的~
是的~ 我承认我是哭了~
是因为放不下我的自尊心~
但是我不想逃避~ 我应该面对~
只是,
失败的我~ 真的连抬起头的勇气都没有了~
我好无奈~

我的小小愿望~

我的大日子~毕业典礼
我希望我想见的人会忽然间的出现，给我一个意外惊喜~
通常，毕业典礼总是少不了花啦，bear bear 啦。。。
平凡的我，也蛮期待收到美美的花啦~
原因是：本小姐从来没有收过一束束的花啦~ （失败~）
希望他会记得我的毕业典礼~
就算不来，一封短短的信息祝福我，我也会很开心的~

但是，我的小小愿望~ 他会知道吗？
他不会知道~ 永远不会知道~
所以。。。

我的毕业典礼，
他不会给我惊喜~
他不会过来找我~
他不会送花给我~
他不会写信息来~
他不会给祝福我~

结论，
你与我~ 从来没变成我们
就像电脑Keyboard里的 N 与 M ~
看似好亲密~ 一个在左，一个在右~
可是，清醒点吧~
它们从来没有交集点~
是不同的个体，从来没有任何关系~

Wishing...

July 15, 2009

Posting a display about "wishing" at facebook..

Frens was keep on asking me what about the "wishing"...

Not really wish to be chat about it openly, coz that will influence my emotion.

Not really hope to express it oso, jz let it settleable in my heart..

however, i needed to clear up my mind and select what actually i needs and wants...

but, currently.. my status only can be describe as this:

这个世界就这么不完美。

你想得到些什么就不得不失去些什么。

但是，我比较特别~ 想得到什么就失去些什么。

可悲咯~

This was my current thought..

Dunno when it started,

Dunno where be recover,

Dunno what is the main problems,

Dunno which channel to change it,

Dunno why this always happened,

Dunno how to manage it..

~迷惑~

what am i doing now??
keep on ran away for the reality..

Plz....
Nicole Tan

Plz....
Come back plz....

You will be getting fine soon,
dun keep on hide urself..

You need to work hard with it,
dun always felt nervous..

is it my life just around Genting??
y i must keep myself at Genting??

y.. y.. y..

May be i still hv a lot of sweet memories over here..
May be i'm addicted myself with Genting aldy..

i dun hv any power to cure myself...
i not dare to face the reality...

that day, Juan said:
"impossible that i will stay at Genting for the rest of my life"
Suddenly, i was woke up myself..

Everytime, i will said "I need time to solve my problems... "
but, i jz wasting my time in hocus myself...
i jz elude myself in facing my failure...